Why Dancing is the Manliest Thing Ever

Taken from my Simplydance.us blog. Written May 5th, 2011.

The Haka. Look it up.

If you’re a guy, you probably don’t like to dance. Past experience has taught you that, and honestly it wasn't that long ago I thought the same. But I can tell you now with complete conviction: dancing is the manliest thing ever. Recently, I found an article on this at askmen.com. While I can’t endorse mentality the site encourages, the post makes some great points.

“At some point in the recent past in North America, dancing started being considered a non-masculine thing to do. Men in other cultures don’t even question whether they should dance or not. We’ve gotten into the bad habit of not even trying to dance. Women hate that. They grew up loving Flashdance, Dirty Dancing, Save the Last Dance, and Step Up. Love for the man who keeps the beat is inherent in women. So, it’s time to drop the attitude and refuse to be a walking American stereotype. Junior high students sit on opposite sides of the dance floor because they’re scared of the opposite sex. So, here’s why real men dance — and you want to be a real man, don’t you?

…Because It Sucks To Watch From The Sidelines

We hate to sound like a self-help book, but doing anything from the sidelines is a waste of time. Why even go to a dance club to sit and stare at people having fun? All that does is project “stranger danger” to women. Even if you’re lucky enough to not come across as creepy, women are going to think you’re boring — if they even notice you at all. Drop your inhibitions and have the chair surgically removed from your butt.

…Because It’s A Great Icebreaker

“Why is she talking to that jerk?” No doubt that question has run through your head hundreds of times. Everyone hates jerks and women can spot them better than you think. The reason she’s talking to the “Ed Hardy” is that he gave her a reason to talk to him. He broke the ice. And there is no easier icebreaker than dancing with her. You don’t even have to have a great first line.

…Because It Projects Confidence

Confidence right there.

You don’t have to be a great dancer to dance. In fact, the worse you are proves how comfortable you are in your own skin. Doing a dance move like the Running Man over and over again shows women that you don’t care what people think. (We don’t necessarily condone the Running Man — but it’s better than nothing.) Women like a man who isn’t trying to win a popularity contest. Leave that for the junior high students. Watching the Jersey Shore guys do the lame “fist-pump” on the dance floor is laughable, but the women still flock to them.

…Because It’s Fun (Seriously)

Men have been dancing for centuries to celebrate and amuse themselves. Dancing is in your DNA. If you don’t like dancing, it’s because you’re not doing it right. Take a lesson and learn to enjoy it, and enjoy the feeling of being a real man.”

(Source)

My immediate thought after reading this: ok, so then what is a “real man”? Something pretty important was left out here: how can anything be labeled the “manliest thing ever” if we don’t first define manliness? Yeah, dance is great because it projects confidence, is fun, helps you meet women, etc. That’s all stuff men can do, but frankly it’s pathetic if picking up girls is what defines us. So then what does define us; what is a man? One of the best answers I've heard to that was given by a woman:

“A man is someone who has qualities that distinguish him from a boy: responsibility, leadership and integrity.”

Patrick Swayze took the weight of responsibility rather well.

Here's my point: dance - done right - forces boys to fulfill that all three parts of that quote and become men. In initial lessons, I tell people that if anything goes wrong, it’s the man’s fault - half joking. Why? While dancing, the man has responsibility for the girl’s safety. And to keep her safe, gentle yet clear leadership must be used. From another article on this site – sure, you can walk fine on your own two feet – but can you support someone else? Can you support a girl, lead her clearly across a floor filled with other whirling couples and be ready to catch her if she falls…and do it confidently enough so that she can relax and enjoy herself?  And finally, you have to do all that with integrity - with good and honest intentions. A good dance lead isn't pushing the girl's limits and "going for something" on the dance floor. Girls  have noses like bloodhounds for stuff like that - they'll smell it a mile off and tell all their friends about it. If you objectify women as toys for pleasure, get off the floor - you're to be pitied, as you have no concept of relational fulfillment or what love means. 

What do they say in the classic wedding vows – “…to provide and protect, to honor and to cherish.”  And that is precisely what a man does in dance – takes responsibility, and leads with integrity. He provides and protects, loves and cherishes. That’s selflessness, my friends – caring for another above yourself, whether it be in life or in dance. There are few things more attractive to a woman than a guy like that. And that’s exactly what dance forces – no, enables – you to be…a man.

Like this guy.